One can never escape one's grave that dig by oneself

Recently I got a Clairnet and I have start playing around with it. The whole learning something about music thang has actually troubled me for quite sometime now.

As far as I know, I am never a music inclined person. Like most people, I listen to pop music when I turn teens. It always, however, is the lyrics that be able to affect me emotionally. I always dislike classical music (chinese or western) and I always fail music as a school subject. I still remembered that I fail my grade 3 0r 4 music exam because I cannot clap my hand to the given beats. And even to this day I cannot always sing from Do to Do (octave) perfectly.

However, these couple of years, learning music seems to be something that keep popping up in my mind, I wonder why.

1) First theory is that I have more exposure to music, so I come to appreciate music more, hence I want to learn more about it. But the problem is, if you don't care about something at 29, you probably are not gonna care about it at 30, you know what I mean?

2) Second theory is that learning new stuffs excite me (which is often true), and since music is one of the most unlearned aspect of my life (which I remember I declair a similiar statement about 10 years ago), it is only natural that I am attracted into learning something in the realm of music. Maybe, but if something is not exciting at 29, you know what I mean?

3) Third theory is that I am jealous about people that can do music (which is somewhat true) and finally I have enough, so I go out of my way to learn something about it. Possible, but same arguement apply that if I can swallow it for 10 years, why not 11?

4) Fourthly, I want to be cool too, you know, be a rock star, hahaha. Highly unlike and probably only when I am fantacizing.

5) Last but not least, I got myself I music lover as a wife......BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Once again, at the end, the "W" factor always show itself somewhere.

I am not saying it is bad, I am not saying anything, I just want to live and be able to sleep in a bed.

Good night to me *cross-finger*