Bayside Emotion

Recently I had a chance to have dinner with someone who just got the home broken into while one of them at home. It is a very dramatic experience for both of them. I thank God that they are feeling better now (especially the one who are in the house when t happen), the whole ordeal also remind me of my own struggle.

About few years ago, there are about half a year that I can hardly sleep at all. Every night, I cannot sleep no matter what I try, and when I am finally fall asleep due to exhaustion. I will “snap” and wake up every 15 minutes or so.

It is a very hard to describe feeling, the only word that I can think of is “snap”. It is like you have fallen into sleep, but you feel like you are not sleeping at the same time. Then, you are wide awake by some sort of loud noise, a snapping sound inside your body. Or you feel that your heart suddenly pumps so hard for one beat that you can feel through your whole body. You know that there is no sound outside but you could swear that you have actually heard the loud noise, the snap, the beat.

It all started when I was afraid of someone will break into my home back then.

Now, I am starting to afraid someone will break into my house, again.

The harder you want to not thinking about something, the harder you try to be calm, you get exactly what you don’t want.

How can one keep the monster at bay?

I wish everyone that is experiencing what I had experienced or what I am experiencing good luck, it is a daily struggle and I just want to say that you are not alone and we all can win the battle together.

One night of sleep sometime do worth more than gold and I wish everyone a good night sleep, every night.

One early morning